Overcoming Impostor Syndrome in the Age of Social Media

March 14, 2021

Social media enable everyone to build, create, and curate their own brand. Others interact with this personal brand, refining and changing it. This dynamic process can create a social media image that feels divorced from the person behind the profile.

Most social media profiles present a person’s life through rose-colored glasses, depicting only the best and most likable aspects of a person. A single “candid” image might have required hours of preparation and hundreds of photographic outtakes. The unfavorable or imperfect images all go unseen. There’s no better way to make yourself feel small than by comparing yourself to others. It’s a habit that makes you doubt your own talents and abilities. Often, even when you receive recognition for those things, you still doubt them, and you may even worry about being exposed as a fraud.

There’s a term for this behavior, which is increasingly better understood: Imposter Syndrome.

RECOGNIZING IMPOSTOR SYNDROME

In the 1970s, researchers first identified the phenomenon among high-achieving women who felt like frauds. Since then, researchers have identified impostor phenomenon among many groups, including white men. Yet marginalized groups—women, genderqueer individuals, racial/ethnic minorities, people with disabilities, etc.—may be more vulnerable to impostor syndrome.

Historically marginalized communities see fewer examples of successful people who look like them. Oppression, discrimination, and microaggressions may help activate feelings of self-doubt. A 2017 study linked impostor syndrome among racial and ethnic minority students to increased depression and anxiety.

People with impostor syndrome may worry that they have fooled everyone into overestimating their talent, intelligence, popularity, etc. They often believe their success is merely illusory, a product of luck instead of merit. Other common characteristics of impostor syndrome include:

• Being unable to claim credit for one’s own achievements. For example, a woman receiving an award at work might downplay her contributions and highlight the accomplishments of her team.

• Fearing judgment for perceived failures or shortcomings. They may fear being “found out.”

• Not feeling a sense of belonging. This is especially prevalent among minorities in competitive workplaces, political organizations, and other groups whose membership provides social status.

Impostor syndrome can sometimes be a self-fulfilling prophecy. When people are unable to claim credit for their achievements, others may be less likely to notice those achievements. This can slow career progress, reducing rewards and encouragement which could convince a person that they deserve their success.

HOW SOCIAL MEDIA CAN AMPLIFY IMPOSTOR SYNDROME

Social media platforms allow a person to display the things they most want others to see. Some social media users are better at this than others, creating a compelling personal brand that creates the illusion of a perfect and highly successful life. The ready availability of social media profiles makes it easy to compare oneself to dozens of other people in just a few minutes. A person can even search for people with similar backgrounds, in similar jobs, or of the same age.

The viewer can’t compare to this flawless image. This can lead to insecurity and impostor syndrome, especially when a person compares themselves to people at work, school, or those in the same profession.

Social media users may be able to push back against impostor syndrome by viewing social media as a curated, deliberate branding effort—not an honest and complete presentation of a person’s life.It’s easy for even mundane aspects of daily life to become a source of comparison online. Self-care, for example, is vital for well-being. It can also be a way to signal how much leisure time, support, and money a person has. A struggling college student who sees photos of their peer at an expensive spa may feel hopeless about their own prospects for self-care.

Parenting, pet ownership, gift-giving, time management, and even cleaning can likewise trigger social media comparisons. So while a person who felt like an impostor at work might previously have comforted themselves with reassurances about their other skills, social media make it possible to feel inadequate across numerous domains.

Over time, this constant comparison can lead to impostor syndrome and other mental health issues. A person viewing an apparently flawless life may wonder, “Why can’t I do that?” The reality is that the person who appears to be living a flawless life probably doesn’t lead the life they present on social media.

A 2017 study found people who spent 121 minutes or more per day on social media were more likely to report feelings of isolation and identify with statements such as “I feel like people barely know me.” Other studies also support a link between heavy social media use and worsening mental health. For instance, a 2015 study of adolescents found that those who used social media for more than two hours per day were more likely to report poor mental health.


NThere are three main types of comparison promoted by social media, and each comes with its own challenges:

• Upward: This is when we compare ourselves to others who are where we’d like to be. The problem is that it can easily make us feel inferior, and with social media, we can feel completely overwhelmed by the amount of comparisons that can be made. It’s like if I tried to compare my progress in the gym to that of every NFL athlete’s progress.

• Downward: This is comparing ourselves to someone who we view as being in a lesser position than ourselves. This may make us feel better about ourselves in the short term, but it also reinforces biases and judgements against others. It can ultimately result in harsher judgements made against ourselves when we encounter setbacks.

• Lateral: Comparison against our peer group. While this might seem harmless, constantly focusing on the image of the lives being lived by our peer group is misleading and unhelpful. People put forward the image of themselves they want you to see, and there’s a lot left behind the curtain. Lateral comparisons may add to feelings of loneliness, isolation, anxiety, and depression.

Whether your point of comparison is fitness or coding, the ability to compare yourself to others has never been so vast, and it has very real emotional implications.

Here are some of the negative impacts social media can have on your life, as well as advice for how to take back control.

1. Social media can lead to feelings of anxiety or depression

It doesn’t require a far mental leap to see how constantly comparing yourself to others might lead to anxiety and depression, as you feel like you’ll never measure up. Comparing your body type to someone else’s—especially a professional athlete or someone whose life is focused around fitness—can only lead to making you feel bad about yourself.

In pre-COVID days (ah, simpler times), it was easy to compare your life to those of people who traveled all the time or appeared to enjoy a lavish lifestyle.

If we’re consistently focused on things we don’t have, can’t afford, can’t easily attain, or simply don’t align with our body type, we can experience deep frustration that can quickly evolve into anxiety and depression.

2. Social media can lead to lost sleep

We all know that an anxious mind can mess with your ability to fall asleep. Have you also noticed how people you see on social media frequently end up in your dreams?

Social media, and our phones in general, are designed to capitalize on behavioral psychology. Their sole purpose is to increase engagement rates. This stimulation can not only keep you awake, but it can add to your anxiety, as social media and phone usage stimulates endorphins and adrenal glands.

3. Social media can lead to low self-esteem

A constant focus on comparison can result in a painful cycle, in which those suffering from low self-esteem or mild depression are more likely to make frequent social comparisons, and these comparisons in turn make them feel even worse. This creates a incredibly negative (and sometimes dangerous) loop.

4. Social media can lead to excessive stress

In fitness, there’s a saying: “You are what you eat.” The same goes for social media. If you’re constantly consuming things that make you feel like you should be something other than what you are, you’re bound to be stressed. If I compare my own fitness journey to that of a guru like Tony Horton, Joel Freeman, or Amoila Cesar, I’m only going to get frustrated.

5. Social media can lead to loneliness

Social media can be very emotionally charged. Take, for instance, the election cycle we’ve just come out of, in which constant attack ads from both parties pushed people to not only vote but donate money.

Social media has made this process so toxic that we are in a state of negative sentiment override. In marriage, this looks like when you get so resentful toward your partner that you begin to hate even the little things, like the way your partner holds their fork, in addition to the bigger issues. The ratio of positive to negative interactions is so off balance that you develop contempt, and this is the same thing that has happened in politics.

To a certain extent, the role models we see on social media can have a positive effect on us, as they can inspire certain positive forms of self-improvement. But this effect can also go too far.

As a therapist, I see clients all the time who are pushing themselves to be like their role models … to drive a certain car, have a podcast, create a life that looks a certain way online, have elite life experiences, focus on self-improvement to the point where they don’t recognize the person in the mirror. At a certain point, you can’t be real, and it’s isolating.

6. Social media cuts down our quality time

We’ve lost a lot of quality time in our lives as a result of our scrolling and our quest for likes: Time to connect with our partner, kids, family; for reading and imagination; for intimacy and connection.

So how can you tell if you need a break from social media, or if you should cut back on your consumption?

It’s really as simple as answering this question: Do you wonder if your time online is making you unhappy?

If it’s a question you ask yourself, then it’s probably your answer. I’d also suggest watching The Social Dilemma on Netflix as it pertains to this exact issue. As a therapist, I see rising levels of loneliness, isolation, depression, and anxiety, and it’s all linked to social media.

Here’s how to cut back:

If you’re interested in putting a little more space between yourself and social media, I think a first good step is to look at how much you use your phone, tablet, or computer. Try keeping a rough log, or reference the screen usage details that are included on most phones these days (such as the Screen Time app on iOS).

Once you see the amount of time you spend on your devices, look at what apps and activities are eating up that time and think about what apps and notifications you can remove to lower temptation and distraction.

Personally, I only use Facebook on my laptop, and I don’t let it send me notifications. I also shut off notifications for many other apps, as well as the ability for social apps to be used over cellular networks. I simply removed the apps that were eating up my time, such as Reddit and Apple News.

Lately, I’ve also been using the iOS Bedtime app to encourage me to turn off my device at a better time.

Another option? Just take a full gadget break. I have a buddy who only turns on his phone a few times a day to check messages. The rest of the time, he focuses on reading, writing, yoga, and self-care.